Roads to Cross

Here I am

Stopped at a four-way

Left goes east; right veers west

Two more options remain 

Go forward in between the horizontal options 

Ignoring the choice of both as if the path stayed straight

Or I could always turn around 

Bypassing the tension to choose

Returning to the familiar tracks I’ve always navigated

The avenues must be shaved down to one route, one choice

There cannot be any delay 

Pedals must be pushed and wheels must be turned

Pressure mounts like boiling water

This is no solo voyage

The stakes are plural not individual

There’s a woman in the seat next to me

Vacant car seats in the rear for future use

Parent’s on the Bluetooth enquiring 

My direction will impact each of these present or future passengers

Will my leading invoke loss?

Is the gain greater than the cost?

Consequences are natural

To take the scenic route is to lengthen the ride

Heading for the mountains misses the sea

Yet all consequences are not equal

There are routes that bring more risk

Roads from which there is no return 

Fog rests past each street sign

It’s a strain to look too far ahead

To know the outcome requires giving up other options

These are no “roads not taken”

They’ve all been taken

Each one’s led many to joy and many to despair

It is not as simple as paths with different outcomes

The same road can produce spectrums of experience

There is no peace in the surface visuals

The point of no return is here

Idling turns to inching

Inching past the white line 

My mind turns right, the car with it

Cognizant of what the choice requires

An end to other directional desires 

Alternative possibilities are certainly over 

While this path’s possibilities remain uncertain

I can only hope this was my purpose 

There is a wind of freedom which accompanies decisiveness

Commitment creates drive

Whether the end result is attained or mythologized

Well the rudder has changed course 

With my heart went all others in the car

The journey is mine; the journey is ours

The future may look back and see mismanagement

A life wasted on a path crippled from the start

A man drowning his family in the dreams of picturesque lanes   

Present moments, the only ones I know say otherwise

This rail seems bound for fulfillment 

My loves cheer me forward welcoming what may lie ahead

The brain can plan trips for miles 

Dissecting every possible detail or detour 

But the whole me can only act out the next foot forward

In miles and feet, plans and actions

Christ knows my heart and directs my steps

That is sure even when my choices aren’t